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War-crime rape, date rape, rape as a ritual for pledging a fraternity, spousal rape, incest, rape with known assailants, rape with unknown assailants, police officers sodomizing a man with a broomstick. Any discussion of rape is going to require us as a culture to get much more imaginative about it.
(Helpfully, the Justice Department just expanded its definition to include men.) Every time we discuss rape as if it’s only men dragging women into alleys, we make the act of reporting it all the more uncomfortable, burdensome and alienating for women being raped by their boyfriends, or students being raped by their teachers, or men being raped by women, or men being raped by men. * * * What’s shocking about this limited perspective is, sadly, how much opportunity there is to see the full spectrum of rape in our culture.
Afterward, the 30-day anti-HIV drug regimen weirdly helped things.I was erect for much of my rape (at least the parts for which I was awake, but probably other parts, too); my assailant knew how to stimulate the physiological response of an erection — as opposed to the emotional or psychological response — even if I was crying or actively trying to think about unsexy things.I wasn’t handcuffed or tied up, but was in a version of dissociated shock.He moved out soon afterward, which helped erase the existence of that place for me. I had met him a few weeks earlier at a house party, and we had hit it off. There was nothing about him that was “rapey” (a word I detest).He was handsome: 30, well-built, tall with long black hair, a surfer’s laugh, and great taste in “X-Men” (Gambit). The sex itself was — I can’t really say it was “good,” because that’s far too moral of a word and far more than he deserves, but it was highly skilled.
Not only are dozens of colleges currently embroiled in sex assault investigations — including James Madison University, which just punished three rapists with “expulsion after graduation” (or, as a friend noted, just “graduation”).