Help dating married man
You don’t really care, but you acknowledge that it sounds odd.
It seems like “dating” is a phase that shouldn’t go on forever.
But if you didn’t correct them, and people found out you weren’t married, somehow it would look as if you had lied. And then, to add insult to injury, you become angry with yourself for pitying yourself.
You don’t quite know where this pressure comes from, but you can feel it in the air, lingering around birthdays and Valentine’s Day—will this be the day he finally proposes? But you and your partner both know that somewhere out there, certain friends or family members are wondering about it. You’re not supposed to care about any of this, remember!?
We live in a time when plenty of couples date for a long time before getting married, or simply never get married.
A lot of people are taking their cues from the Swedes, who simply enter into domestic partnerships but never file any paperwork with the city.
Then he feels bad, as if he’s somehow done something wrong by doing exactly what you two agreed on—not getting married. Based on the way you see some people take their spouses for granted or speak poorly about their spouses, sometimes you’re really grateful you aren’t married. If you do ever become engaged, it will probably be over some mundane, everyday moment now.
While you mostly don’t feel negative feelings about marriage, sometimes you feel that you really dodged a bullet by not getting married.
The words “Dating” and “A decade” don’t seem to go together.
The other guests at your table mean well when they ask, “So, how long have you two been together?
” But they become uncomfortable when you say you’ve been together for way longer than the couple whose wedding you’re at.
You’ve been there for each other through illness and very difficult times. Sometimes your partner notices when you feel bad for yourself.
Or, he becomes aware that your friends feel sorry for you or question his love for you.
You’ve even heard whispers of them thinking maybe he has a secret family somewhere else or is a closeted homosexual, and that’s why he hasn’t proposed. A lot of people assume you just got married at some point and they missed the memo.